


Phone Calls from a Lost Boy

by guineabees



Category: South Park
Genre: Drama, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8264570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guineabees/pseuds/guineabees
Summary: Kyle is used to Cartman calling him in the event of an 'emergency'. What he's not expecting is a surprisingly honest conversation in the early hours of the morning and the potential for things to change between them.





	1. Life is Strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like that a couple of times in the show Kyle has been the first person Cartman called when something bad happened. It kind of shows that despite what he says, he actually really trusts Kyle (or at least he did before the second episode of season 20 anyway) and I think that's cute. So I wanted to write a fic where they slowly become closer through phone calls because sometimes it's easier to tell a person something when there's that safety net of distance and not having to look at them.
> 
> It's not gonna be just phone conversations all the way through though and I also already have drama planned for later on in the fic because I'm evil like that.
> 
> The kids are high school age in this (I usually write them in their late teens so more around the last year of high school).

“Kahl!” Cartman’s voice rang through the phone in Kyle’s hand, piercing through his sleep muddled brain and making him wince a little at the volume.

Kyle rolled his eyes upon registering the voice. “Cartman. It’s two in the morning on a school night. This better be important,” he warned. 

Kyle had grown used to being Eric Cartman’s ‘emergency’ contact over the years. He still didn’t know why exactly, but he always seemed to be the first person Cartman would call during a crisis. He guessed it had something to do with him often trying to be the voice of reason in his friendship group, but there was also a part of him that just wondered whether this was yet another way Cartman liked to try and annoy him. 

“It is important I swear!” Cartman reassured him, although he still highly doubted it.

“Ok, what do you want?” 

There was a moment of silence in which Kyle wondered if it might actually be something serious before the other replied. “If you ever got super time travel powers and could go back to the day my dad died and stop me from getting him killed so he would still be alive, but it meant that something horrible would happen to me and I’d eventually die instead you wouldn’t do it, right?”

Kyle’s eyebrows shot up in confusion as he processed what the other was asking him. Where had this come from? 

“Cartman, what-”

Cartman interrupted, continuing with his rambling. “It’s just, I just finished this chapter of Life is Strange - which I’m only playing because Butters said I’d like it because it has photography and murder in it by the way- and this chick just went back in time and stopped her friend’s dad from dying in a car crash because she thought it might stop her from being on her period all the time or something. The friend ended up getting in a car crash instead though because you can’t just go fucking around with timelines however you like apparently, which is super fucking weak if you ask me like what is the point in having the power to rewind time if you can’t do anything you want with it?” 

It was at this point in the conversation that Kyle officially zoned out, his facial features slipping into the deadpan expression he reserved for those times Cartman irritated to hell out of him as he stared at the ceiling and tried his best to ignore the voice blaring out of the receiver. How was he talking so loud anyway? Wasn’t his mom sleeping by now? 

To be fair, Kyle should have known it would be something trivial like this. The last time Cartman called about a legitimate emergency had been about a year ago when he had somehow ended up lost somewhere in Europe with Kenny and Butters. Kyle never asked how that happened, mostly because he had a feeling he was better off not knowing, but it had been a long day of research and important phone calls on his part before they were all safe and on a flight home again. Since then though, things had been relatively quiet. 

He’s not even sure why he still feels so compelled to answer Cartman’s calls at this point. For some reason a part of him still worries that the other boy might be in actual trouble every time his name and picture flashes up on the screen of his phone. Kenny always told him it was because he couldn’t resist being the ‘mom friend’, but he couldn’t help feeling that he felt more of a sense of urgency when it came to Cartman. Probably because he’d invested so much of his time in trying to stop him getting involved in dangerous schemes in their childhood. Part of him wished he didn’t still feel so concerned when it came to Cartman though because now it was going to end up making him fall asleep in class.

“- so the time travel chick ended up having to help her moody friend die because she was hooked up to machines and shit -like Kenny was that one time- and it was super fucking depressing bro like if they weren’t so whiny and boring most of the time I might actually have felt bad for them. Anyway, the girl with the time powers kind of reminds me of you because she keeps whining about going back and doing the right thing and sneaking around and meddling in other people’s lives so I thought ‘I wonder if Kyle would ever screw me over that badly if he had the chance’ and then I decided to call and find out for myself.”

“I’m going back to sleep,” Kyle stated, taking the phone away from his ear.

“No wait! Kahl!” Cartman called.

Kyle sighed and shook his head, wondering why he put himself through this as he lifted the phone back to his ear. “What, Fatass?” 

Cartman huffed on the other end of the line, affronted by the use of the nickname. “Just answer the question, Jew,” he demanded. “If you could get your nosey ass involved in my business as usual and stop me from doing what I did to my father, even if it meant I would die somewhere later along the line because you upset the balance of time or some shit, would you do it?”

“Ok first of all, this is ridiculous because you’re talking about a situation that is never gonna happen here and I can’t believe you woke me up for this,” Kyle complained. “And secondly I wouldn’t have to get my ‘nosey ass’ involved in your business so much if you weren’t so reckless all the goddam time!”

“Ok mom,” Cartman retorted and Kyle could practically hear him rolling his eyes. “Just answer my question already!”

“Fine,” Kyle sighed, resigning himself to just giving an answer because he knew they’d be here all night otherwise. “I wouldn’t do it,” he muttered reluctantly. “Happy now?”

“Wha- really?!” Cartman replied. “You seriously wouldn’t?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Kyle inquired, his features scrunched in confusion. “You said that you’d die in your dad’s place if I did it and I don’t really know him. Plus you wouldn’t be there to learn anything from it or appreciate that your dad was alive so there would be no point.”

“Yeah but I got him killed! Wouldn’t you of all people want to save the innocent one in this situation?” Cartman argued.

“You barely knew him,” Kyle stated. “For all we know he could have been a horrible person and to be perfectly honest he probably was if he was capable of having a child with someone when he already had a family and forcing the entire town to lie to his own child without showing any signs of remorse.”

Kyle didn’t know what made him say that, he wasn’t entirely sure how this conversation became so serious. He was also very aware that he may have said too much about something that was still a pretty sore subject. He had a nagging feeling that this was not just some ridiculous 2 am conversation about something completely hypothetical for Cartman though. He had a feeling that there might have been some actual insecurities and concerns prompting Cartman to call him about this when he could have just as easily annoyed him with it at the bus stop later and for some reason he wanted to do all he could to get rid of them.

“I thought you hated me though. I’ve done so many fucked up things to you and a whole bunch of other people. Why wouldn’t you wanna get rid of me if you had the chance?”

Cartman’s tone was both softer and more serious when he replied and the honesty in it momentarily took the other boy by surprise. Was Cartman actually admitting that he’d done things that were wrong? What was going on here? Kyle almost wondered if he had fallen asleep again at some point during the call and was now dreaming the rest of it. It took a lot to get even a shred of seriousness from Cartman most days and here he was almost having an honest to god heart to heart with him over the phone.

Kyle ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation when he remembered that Cartman was waiting for a reply. “I don’t hate you,” he admitted, making sure there weren’t any traces of uncertainty in his voice because he really did mean it.

Kyle hadn’t felt anything remotely like hate towards Cartman in a long time and he wasn’t sure if he ever truly had. He’d felt anger towards him for sure and he’d hated some of the things Cartman did and the needlessly dramatic situations he’d gotten people -mainly Kyle- involved in, but he’d never actually hated Cartman. 

A lot of the time he’d actually felt like Cartman knew him better than anyone, even Stan who he’d been almost attached at the hip with throughout his childhood. They fought a lot, but that was just their dynamic. When it actually mattered they made an excellent team together and brought out the best in each other and together they had always been a force to be reckoned with. They were and always would be a hugely significant part of each other’s lives and there was no denying that. Kyle wasn’t entirely sure how to put all of that into words, but he would try.

“You might have done some fucked up things when we were kids, but we all did some pretty fucked up things back then. The fact that you’re thinking about it like this now proves that you’ve changed a lot since then. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I consider you one of my closest friends and believe it or not I don’t actually want to see bad things happen to you. You infuriate me sometimes, but that’s only because I know you can be a better person. Besides, things wouldn’t be anywhere near as interesting if you weren’t around.”

Silence reigned between them in the moments following Kyle’s confession. This was so different from their usual interactions, it was more honest, more vulnerable. Kyle half expected Eric to crack an inappropriate joke any second now to cover their tracks, to bring them back to their safety net of repetitive bickering about Kyle’s religion or Eric’s only slightly improved eating habits. 

He was further surprised, however, when the other boy let the conversation continue. “I don’t really hate you that much either y’know?” Kyle heard a quiet chuckle on the other end of the line. “In fact I’m pretty sure most of the shit I used to do to you was just because I didn’t know how else to get your attention. Honestly.. I just… really wanted to be your friend... but I didn’t know how...” Cartman’s voice trailed off awkwardly, it was pretty obvious that it had been a struggle for him to reveal that much.

Kyle felt his face heat up at that revelation. He wasn’t oblivious to Cartman’s way of thinking, he’d already known that a lot of the stunts he pulled in elementary school were a cry for attention, but he never thought he’d hear him admit it. The fact that Cartman had just willingly told Kyle that it was his attention he was after most of the time kind of threw him off more than a little. If it wasn’t for the genuine cautiousness in his voice when he’d said that, Kyle would have suspected him of being up to his old tricks again. This wasn’t a trick though, this was real. Cartman had actually seen Kyle as a worthy equal and a desirable friend beneath all of his insults and bullshit and Kyle didn’t quite know what to do with that information.

He cleared his throat in an effort to break the strained, awkward silence that had enveloped them, willing the the burning sensation in his cheeks to stop. “W-well, you could have started by being a little nicer,” he pointed out, failing to hold back a grin at the irritated sigh that he received in response, “but we’re friends now. So as long as you don’t give me any reasons to regret saying that, you don’t need to worry about any of that anymore.”

He caught himself almost smiling at the tired, but sincere “Ok, kewl,” that answered him. 

Cartman let out a loud yawn after that, which turned out to be contagious as Kyle's quieter one echoed it. They both laughed and just like that the tense atmosphere that came with the sudden serious conversation dissipated and it felt as if a weight had been lifted from Kyle’s chest. He suspected that the other felt the same as he could hear his breathing relax over the line. He did have to admit that Cartman was almost cute when he was sleepy. Almost.

“Now seriously, go to bed because I’m not covering for you if you oversleep and miss school tomorrow,” Kyle complained. 

“Yeah yeah. Good night, Jew,” Cartman said softly, his voice already riddled with sleep. There was no trace of his usual venom behind the name though, it seemed more like a friendly nickname than the insult he usually intended it to be.

Kyle wondered if he would actually remember any of this conversation in the morning or if he would write it off as some strange dream where he actually had a pretty civil talk with his childhood rival. It almost seemed like something had changed between them just a little bit over the course of this bizarre phone call, like they had actually made some positive progress. After everything that they had been through together over the years, Kyle hoped that was true. 

“Good night, Fatass,” he replied, hanging up and placing his phone back on his bedside table gently, feeling strangely hopeful about what tomorrow would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there were any really OOC moments, it's my first time writing Kyman and they actually have a pretty complex dynamic going on so I'm still getting used to it. It's also my first time writing Cartman as a main character and it feels kind of weird to me at the moment. I want to do this pairing justice as much as possible though so bear with me, I'll get used to it eventually.
> 
> Also if it seems OOC towards the end of the chapter that's because I thought, it's the early hours of the morning and when people are tired they're more likely to be honest and just say what they think, or at least from my experience of 2 am conversations with friends that's how it goes anyway. They're not gonna just switch to being overly nice to each other straight away after this one conversation I swear (I was slightly worried it seemed that way).
> 
> Fun fact though: I was actually writing a Life is Strange inspired au when I came up with the idea for this fic which is why I made the conversation start that way. I'm still writing it but I thought I'd post this one first and then start posting that once I've finished it.
> 
> Anyway, this is mainly just an attempt at writing Kyman because I've started to really like the pairing and I enjoy coming up with ideas for stories involving them, so I thought why not give it a go? Hopefully I didn't do too badly so far.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! One day I will try to write an author's note that isn't way too long, but today is not that day.


	2. The Bus Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the nice feedback on the last chapter. 
> 
> I wanted this chapter to be longer (and better tbh) than this, but I realised that I hadn't updated it in a while so I decided to take some of it off and use it in the next chapter so that I could at least get something up here. I'm sorry it's taken me so long. Between assignments, being ill and family issues, life's been a bit hectic lately and I haven't had a lot of time to work on my writing. 
> 
> Hopefully I'll feel better about the next chapter, but for now I hope this is ok.

Kyle didn’t know what he expected things to be like the day after that phone call. To be honest, he had half been expecting Cartman to deny it had ever happened and try to bribe him not to mention it to anyone. 

Cartman hadn’t acted as if anything was any different as Kyle exchanged sleep riddled greetings with the others at the bus stop before going back to standing in silence and trying to ignore the cold. The only indicator that anything had changed between them was a cautious smile directed his way when the other boys weren’t looking, which he responded to with a small smile of his own. 

After a while, Kenny piped up. “Dude should have seen the girl I went out with Saturday night!” he boasted, more so to Stan than anyone else. 

“Who was she?” Stan asked. “Anyone we know?”

“Nah she’s from North Park,” Kenny replied. “But you should see her, she’s like insanely out of my league, like a solid nine point five. I think I have a picture of her on my phone somewhere hang on.”

Kyle tuned out the rest of the conversation, staring at his feet. He never really felt like he could join in when Stan and Kenny started talking about girls. Partially because he didn’t like the way they talked about them most of the time and partially because he had been feeling more than a little conflicted when it came to that lately. 

He’d thought for a while that maybe he was just too focused on other things like his grades and trying to stay afloat in the tsunami of strange events that took place in his town to really care about dating. Recently though, he was beginning to realise that maybe it less that he wasn’t interested in dating and more that he was trying to avoid thinking about it.

In elementary school, he’d usually been the single friend of the group. Sure he had shown interest in girls and dated a few of them, but he wasn’t sure if he was actually into them or just doing what everyone else was doing. Yeah, he thought that some of the girls at his school were pretty, but recently he caught himself staring at boys too often for it to be a coincidence. He wasn’t really sure how he felt a lot of the time. He sometimes wondered if he was gay and just hadn’t wanted to feel left out when the other boys were talking about girls. It was confusing and it had been irritating him beyond belief that he could probably hack into a government database with no problems, but he couldn’t work out his own damn feelings.

He hadn’t let anyone in on this yet. It wasn’t that he was afraid exactly because South Park had actually been pretty accepting towards its gay citizens to an extent. Plus, even if he wasn’t sure about his dad he knew his mom would love him no matter what, and she was more likely to start a war than allow someone to hurt him. It was just that he was still testing the waters, still figuring out what exactly he was feeling, still pretty damn confused about everything.

“Maybe I should start dating too now that I’m not seeing Wendy anymore...” he heard Stan say.

He was about to ignore the comment knowing that Stan and Wendy would be back together by the end of the week, but something caught his attention, or rather the lack of something. Kyle hadn’t heard Cartman’s voice once throughout the entire exchange. That was a bit odd. Cartman always chimed in with his opinion, even if it was just to say that he didn’t give a shit about the topic of conversation. 

He glanced towards the other boy to see what that was all about only to see Cartman staring right back at him. He met the boy’s gaze head on and held it, searching for some kind of clue as to what he was thinking in the blue eyed stare. It would have probably been awkward if this had happened with anybody else, someone probably would have backed down and gotten embarrassed about the prolonged eye contact, but they had never really let awkwardness be an issue between them. They saw each other as equals after all, whether they were rivals or allies.

Cartman made a show of shooting a look towards Stan and Kenny and then rolling his eyes, wordlessly communicating to Kyle how he felt about their conversation. Kyle grinned and shook his head in a way that said ‘I know right?’ and the two shared a brief smile. 

When the bus pulled up, Kyle let Stan and Kenny go ahead, pulling back so that he could sit next to Cartman and hopefully have some sort of clarification that their conversation the night before had not been forgotten. Cartman seemed a bit taken aback that Kyle was pretty much choosing to sit by him, but he followed his lead anyway, slipping into the seat next to him. 

“I see you managed to drag yourself into the world of the living after all,” Kyle commented as soon as he sat down.

“Yeah,” Cartman yawned. “But I’m really fucking tired so if I fall asleep it’s entirely your fault.”

“My fault?” Kyle questioned. “You were the one who woke me up to talk about a video game. How is that my fault?”

“Whatever Kyle, you still answered the phone and allowed the conversation to continue so it’s your responsibility.”

A silence fell over them after that and Kyle suddenly felt a little awkward in the other’s presence. Neither of them seemed entirely sure how to continue. Did they tread carefully to avoid falling into their usual pattern of arguing or did they carry on as normal and find out what the touchy subjects were as they went along? Being civil wasn’t entirely new to them, but usually they had a common goal to work towards or a problem to solve together. Now there were no distractions forcing them to put aside their differences. This new, tentative friendship was all down to them and how willing they were to work on it and that was more than a little bit daunting. 

“So…” Kyle picked at his glove absent-mindedly. “I didn’t take you as the type to enjoy story based video games about time travelling lesbians.”

“I don’t play it for the lesbians Kyle,” Cartman stated, rolling his eyes. “I play it for the murder mystery and the photography like I said, ok? I’m not one of those gross straight guys who like to watch girls kiss at parties and shit.”

“What are you then if you’re not ‘a gross straight boy who likes to watch girls kiss’?” Kyle inquired, genuinely curious about the other boy’s choice of wording.

Cartman took a look around him to make sure no one was listening before replying in a hushed tone. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I happen to be a bisexual who can appreciate a good plot twist.”

Kyle hadn’t been expecting a serious answer and he wasn’t quite sure how to respond to it. Cartman hardly ever cut the bullshit and let himself be vulnerable and every time he did let something through it always took Kyle by surprise for a second. The longer he stayed quiet though, the more uncomfortable Cartman looked and he knew that if he didn’t respond soon the other boy would get defensive and make it into some kind of joke. He didn’t want to spoil something that could be genuine progress like that.

“Oh,” he replied, kicking himself internally for not having a more eloquent answer.

“What? Are you not cool with that or something?” Cartman questioned, his brows drawing together in a frown.

“No!” Kyle argued. “No, I just wasn’t expecting you to be so honest all of a sudden. When we were younger all someone had to do was mention the word gay and you’d get defensive as fuck.”

“Yeah. Well. People grow up, Kyle. I’m not exactly the same person I was back then,” Cartman reminded him, “but just for the record I haven’t told anyone else so if we could keep that between us, that would be cool.”

“My lips are sealed,” Kyle assured him.

“That makes a nice change,” Cartman snarked. 

“Asshole!” Kyle shoved him a little. He wasn’t exactly threatening though because for some reason he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. The fact that he had trusted Kyle enough to tell him something he hadn’t revealed to anyone else made him feel a genuine sense of warmth that he’d rather not dwell on. It felt nice to be getting on with Cartman for a change though and he hoped it would last this time.

Cartman grinned and shoved him right back. “At least I have an ass hole, Kyle.”

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” Kyle questioned. “Am I supposed to be offended?”

Cartman paused, his hands on Kyle’s shoulders. “...I don’t actually fucking know, it just sounded like a good comeback at the time,” he admitted. 

A beat of silence went by with the two of them staring at each other before they broke out into laughter at how ridiculous the situation was. They had shared two pretty deep conversations now and Cartman had dropped one giant sexuality bombshell and here they were, still throwing the same nonsensical insults at each other. It was like a weight had suddenly been lifted.

The atmosphere between them felt a lot lighter and more easy going once it dawned on Kyle that they didn’t have to try so hard to act different around each other. As long as they were both on the same page and knew that there was no longer any venom behind their words he was sure they would be fine.

Stan leaned over the back of the seat in front of them, a casual smile on his face. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Kyle and Cartman replied simultaneously, before looking at each other and cracking up again.

Stan’s smile faltered and gave way to a questioning look. “Ok… well…” He tapped his fingers against the seat, hesitating over what he was about to say. “It’s nice to hear you guys laughing instead of bickering for a change,” he admitted, slipping back down into his seat before either of them could respond.

Kyle had to agree with him. It felt like a lot of nice changes were happening lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> I have plans for this story, so hopefully I'll have more time to write and things will pick up soon.


	3. The Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Wow it's been a while.
> 
> Sorry I took such a long break, life got stressful for a while and I didn't really feel up to doing any writing. Things are still stressful, but writing is starting to become fun for me again now and with South Park making a return I thought it would be the perfect time for me to make a return too. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

The rest of the school day had been pretty normal. The teachers didn’t really care all that much, the work was stressful and everyone would rather be at home. The boys had joked, teased each other and debated about things across the lunch table as usual and nothing too out of the ordinary had taken place. Kyle almost began to wonder if anything was actually going to be that different. That changed though when he found himself almost expecting the loud buzzing and flash of Cartman’s picture on his phone screen that interrupted his reading later on in the evening.

“How much do you think it would cost to hire someone to either do all of this damn work for me or demolish our school?” Cartman asked, not even bothering with a greeting. Kyle sighed, giving up on his book and placing it on his desk so he could give the conversation his full attention.

“You could probably get anyone in our school to demolish it without even offering to pay them to be honest,” he pointed out. Then his eyes widened as it dawned on him that the person he was talking to would actually try something like that. “Don’t do that though,” he quickly added.

“I know. It was a joke, Kyle. I’m not actually gonna destroy the fucking school… this time,” Cartman responded, his tone exasperated enough that Kyle could almost picture him rolling his eyes. “There’d be no point anyway because the teachers are all sadists, who’d either still make us go to classes just in a way more shitty location or make us repeat the year once it was rebuilt.”

“True,” Kyle agreed. He would have joked that it sounded like Cartman had really thought this through, but knowing Cartman he probably actually had. 

“I mean Jesus Christ it’s the first day back and some of them are already throwing homework at us! Who does that?” Cartman complained. “How do they expect me to know any of this shit?”

“Cartman, most of it is stuff we did in class today. If you had been paying attention and not falling asleep then you would know this,” Kyle reprimanded.

“Yeah well, we’ve already established that me falling asleep in class was your fault,” Cartman replied dismissively. “So anyway, hypothetically, if I was to write about-”

“If you’re trying to get me to do your homework for you, it’s not happening,” Kyle interrupted.

“Jesus Kyle, can’t a guy complain about his homework without being accused of trying to trick someone into doing it for him?” Cartman questioned, his offended tone dripping with insincerity. “Whatever happened to making casual conversation?”

“Were you planning to get me to do it for you though?” 

Cartman hesitated with his response. “... No?”

“Really? So you weren’t going to try and get me to say things so that you could write them down then?” Kyle interrogated.

“Ok, maybe if the answers had casually come up in conversation… I might have taken some notes, yes,” Cartman revealed. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Kyle replied, shaking his head. He couldn’t seem to fight back a smile at his friend’s antics though. At least Cartman’s schemes were relatively innocent now compared to what they used to involve.

“Hey! It worked on Butters the last time I had really difficult Maths homework.”

“Of course it did,” Kyle muttered, pressing his free hand against his forehead. “Look, we both know you’re smart enough to do the homework yourself. Why don’t you just try for once? You could probably have some of the highest grades in our class if you actually tried.”

The other end of the line was silent for a few seconds, but Kyle knew not to take that as a win when he was dealing with Cartman. He always had an answer for everything, even if it took him a while to come out with it sometimes. Sure enough, Kyle could almost hear the victorious grin in the other boy’s voice when he finally responded. 

“My my Kyle. Was that a compliment I heard just now? Are you trying to say you think I’m a genius?”

“I didn’t use the word ‘genius’,” Kyle protested.

“But you do think I’m intelligent though,” Cartman pointed out. “One of the most intelligent people in our class apparently.”

Kyle suddenly felt a little awkward. It wasn't like he hadn't encouraged or complimented Cartman before, but usually Kyle or the group had something to gain from it. There wasn't really anything for Kyle to personally gain from it this time. This time he was encouraging him because a part of him wanted to see him succeed.

He had called Cartman smart because he fully believed that it was the truth. Cartman was intelligent, he had to be to come up with some of the intricate plans he pulled off in his childhood and to be able to get people on his side even after some of the things he’d done in the past. The logical part of Kyle’s brain noted that he could just be doing that to him now, but for some reason it didn’t feel like that. It felt like Cartman was being genuine with him.

“Don’t get carried away, asshole,” Kyle huffed. “I’m trying to help you out here. If you keep getting other people to do your work, what are you going to do when we have exams and you’re on your own?”

“Cheat, duh.”

“Cartman!”

“What?” Cartman questioned. “I said I wanted to be your friend, that doesn't mean I wanna be a fucking nerd too. Just because we’re trying to get along now doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to become an upstanding citizen.”

Kyle sighed. “Ok, how about I offer you a deal?”

“You have my attention. What kind of a deal are we talking about here?” Cartman inquired and Kyle felt like he might have made some progress. Before Kyle could reply though, Cartman spoke again. “Is it gonna be another ‘leprechauns don’t exist’ kind of deal or…?” he added and Kyle had to take a few seconds to remind himself that murder was in fact illegal and that Cartman was just teasing him before he spoke again.

“Well, I was gonna say if you stop harassing people to give you the answers and actually do the homework, you can come over after school tomorrow and we’ll play video games, but if you’re not gonna take this seriously then-”

“No wait! I will take it seriously I swear!” Cartman interrupted. “You got a deal.”

“You sound strangely eager,” Kyle observed.

“It just feels like it’s been forever since any of us actually just hung out, that’s all. I’m so fucking bored of being here by myself all the time!”

Cartman probably hadn’t spared much thought towards his wording. Kyle noticed though that sometimes, when his guard was down or when he was getting defensive, Cartman would almost always unintentionally spill small details about his life that were actually kind of concerning. He frowned as he thought about the implications of that last sentence.

“You’re by yourself all the time?” he asked cautiously. “Where’s your mom?”

“She’s around,” Cartman responded, almost too quickly, “but I’m not exactly gonna fucking sit around playing video games and shit with my mom am I? That would be kind of pathetic.”

Kyle had the feeling there was something Cartman wasn’t telling him, but he decided to let it go for now. “Ok, so tomorrow after school is good for you then?” he checked.

“I mean yeah unless you somehow change your mind in the next few hours, which I wouldn’t put past you with your devious mind tricks and all.”

“Oh no. You’ve discovered my secret,” Kyle deadpanned, rolling his eyes. “All I do is sit here trying to come up with elaborate plans to trick you into being a better person for the good of humanity.”

“You would know all about what’s best for the good of humanity though wouldn’t you, Human Kite?” Cartman retorted and Kyle could practically hear the grin in his voice. 

“Oh my god fuck off the superhero thing was years ago,” Kyle responded with a laugh.

“I bet you still have the costume though, in all of its triangular shoulder padded glory.”

“Ok yeah, I still own that monstrosity,” Kyle admitted. “I probably wouldn’t even be able to fit more than one leg in it now though.” He grinned when he thought about how ridiculous someone his age would look running around South Park in one of their old superhero costumes. “How much do you wanna bet that Kenny still tries to dress up as Mysterion?”

“He definitely still does, dude,” Cartman confirmed. “I’m pretty sure he’s used his alter ego to pick up chicks on at least three separate occasions.”

“Oh my God,” Kyle snorted. “And that actually works? Like girls actually fall for that crap?”

“Hook, line and sinker from what I’ve heard.”

“What the fuck?” 

“Come on Kyle,” Cartman teased. “You can’t see how being rescued by a strong person wearing tight clothing would be appealing to anyone?”

“Not really,” Kyle replied. “I’m not the type of person who would let someone make me feel like some kind of damsel in distress.”

“Don’t I know it,” Cartman mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Kyle was about to argue, but then he heard what sounded like a door slamming followed by a male voice yelling something on the other end of the line. It wasn’t a voice he recognised and something just didn’t seem quite right about it. For some reason it just didn’t sit well with him.

“Was that nothing too?” he questioned. A few beats of silence from the other end of the line had him pressing further, concern curling in the pit of his stomach. Something was definitely off. “Seriously who was that? It sounded like someone was talking to you.”

“For your information, it actually was nothing too. Nothing for you to worry about anyway,” Cartman replied, an edge of defensiveness in his voice. “It’s just... the TV... that’s all.”

“It didn’t sound like-”

“I better be going anyway,” Cartman interjected, “if I’m going to be getting this homework done before tomorrow I mean.”

The stubborn part of Kyle wanted to reject the subject change and keep asking questions until Cartman gave him a real answer. That would probably just end in them falling out again though and then it would take forever for him to gain back the little bit of trust Cartman had so far given him. He didn’t even know why he cared so much about this tentative friendship they were starting to work on, but he did.

“Ok fine,” he conceded with a sigh. “See you tomorrow, Fatass.”

“See you tomorrow, Jew.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever I write Kyman I find myself not thinking too much about it the way I do with other characters and pairings so I always get concerned about my characterisation when I'm about to post it. Thank you so much for the positive reviews though, the response I've been getting to this fic have been so encouraging and uplifting to read. 
> 
> I'm trying my best to make sure that my newer chapters live up to the other ones and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, but I might be a bit rusty at the moment because I haven't written fiction in almost a year now.


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